2010 remembered

I became a father in 2010. I love my kids. They are the sun in my life. Everything changed for me when they were born. I found out all over again the degree to which I was able to love. They are amazing.

But this blog is not about my kids.

This is for my church. Look to the Cross for Victory Church of Edmonton. Monk Punks or LTTC for short. Hi church!

It was a great year for our church, 2010. We were two years old in November. Cool. I was ordained last year. That's cool. And of the fifteen or so of us, about half just started joining us on this journey together in 2010. We said some significant goodbyes to fellow pilgrims in 2010, but they were good goodbyes.

But as good as 2010 was, we did find ourselves in a bit of a holding pattern. Admittedly, this did have a lot to do with Kate and I becoming parents last year. The first half of the year was fairly preoccupied with preparing for parenthood, and the second half of the year was fairly preoccupied with snuggling, cooing, feeding, and not sleeping. We didn't have a lot of vision for the church, at least not that we were communicating. In practicality, we also spent the first few months of 2010 sort of setting this holding pattern into motion, paring everything back to its' bare essentials, hitting "start", and kind of letting the community move forward in neutral for a while. And this was fine. It was right and good for us to put our family first.

And so we found ourselves in October, ending our awesome year-long walk through the book of James, twelve or so of us meeting twice a week for delicious vegan meals, Settlers of Catan, Grounders tag, Film and Theology, prayer and sharing scripture. And so it was. And it was good.

But it could be better. The "holding pattern" set in place for Kate and I to step back and parent had basically made us administrators of the community for a time. We made schedules, asking people to cook, preach, clean up, or host. We worked together, but pretty much everything was starting and ending with us. We knew things needed to change, but still didn't quite know how. And we were still pretty whelmed by parenthood.

It was around Christmas time that we started being able to step back and see more clearly where our roles needed to change. We needed a fresh vision for the church. We needed clear plans for how to get where we needed to go. We needed more time for one another and our kids. We needed to grow back into parents AND pastors, not just administrators.

A pastor is not an administrator. A pastor is an enabler. Scripture says that a pastor's job is to EQUIP THE SAINTS (that's you) for the work of the MINISTRY(that's preaching, discipleship, and sharing Jesus with each other and the world). Ministry is the job of the church.

We had a group of other churches around us that were entering a time of prayer and fasting together during the month of January. We decided to join them. As a church, we all committed to some sort of physical, practical discipline in the area of our eating, and dedicate that time to disciplined prayer and meditation. As pastors, Kate and I entered the fast as a time to pressure cook into our vision, plans, and roles for the new year.

I committed to a twenty-one day fast and prayer. I decided to read the New Testament during that time. This was when it really started getting good.